Before I met my spouse I knew I wanted a baby at the age of 26.  I’m not sure how I was going to make a baby because at the time I was single but God knew my plans. Me and my spouse have been together for 5 years before having a baby. The funny thing is after hitting the 5 year mark on that same month I found out I was pregnant. I wasn’t trying to get pregnant shoot I had no idea he came in me because his pull out game is so strong so he says. 

But anyway I noticed I missed my period because I keep up with it every month on my calendar.  I didn’t have any pregnancy symptoms until after I found out I was pregnant. So we took one home test and it came out positive and we sat there for hours wondering how it happened and decided to go get my blood tested to make sure. The wait time for the results to come back in was so scary and yet exciting. I did everything I could thing of to not think about it and that didn’t work. When I finally received the call the nurse said “you are indeed pregnant” OMG HOW, WHEN,WHAT!!!!!! After giving birth till this day only God knows how I got pregnant.

I did everything right a first time mom would to make sure her child comes out healthy. Since I was young for as long as I can remember I wanted a natural birth. So me and my spouse started our research on everything we needed to know about natural birth and we started our journey on a natural birth. The last week of my pregnancy my water broke without any contraction I was excited and ready to meet my little girl but I had no idea the battle ahead of me. Since my water broke without contractions they had to insert catheter (balloons) inside my vagina for 12 hours (sooo uncomfortable) and once the contractions started I wouldn’t sleep or eat. It was painful but breathing definitely helped but after 12 hours I was only dilated 5 centimeters (so I was told). Since my water was broken for over 12 hours I had to be taken to the hospital to start the process and try to prevent any infections from transferring to the baby because I was diagnosed with GBS.

I was opened minded through out my whole pregnancy but once I was told I needed to go to the hospital I was scared but I had God by my side because I know he gave me this baby girl and he wasn’t going to let anything happen to her. So we are all checked in at the hospital, I got in my bed and they started inserting catheters in my arms to start giving me fluids and (other things I need) to kick up my contractions. After 36 hours of dancing, siting in the water, doing exercises, walking, worshiping God and doing everything we could all possibly thing of to get passed 5 centimeters to start the natural birthing process she just didn’t want to come down. After crying and crying and crying I gave the doctors the go for the C-section because I was physically and emotionally done and was ready to meet my baby. I was given so much that I had the shakes. The shake was miserable because it was consistent and the only way I could pause it was slow it down and breath but that didn’t last long. My jaws were in so much pain from the shake but it was time for surgery and all I could do was pray. 

Surgery was a success and my baby girl literally came out praising God!!

During surgery I had lost a lot of blood so I was kept in the ICU for monitoring and I thank the lord everything that I didn’t have to go back in surgery due to losing so much blood. 

With our plan being to breastfeed that to became another problem. My baby had to eat so I had to do everything I could to make sure she ate. Within the first few days of giving birth the body produces colostrum for the baby which isn’t a lot because their stomach is so small. Well since I wasn’t told this during my birthing class after 3 days of letting my daughter suck from the nipple it became extremely chapped and painful. I mean my nibbles were black.

So me not knowing that during the first few days after birth the body only produces a small amount of milk called colostrum I allowed my baby to suck on my nipples longer than she was suppose to and the people at the hospital are so focused on making sure she latches right that they don’t inform you not to let them suck on it longer and use it like a pacifier because that’s what mine did and it led to engorgement.

OMG I wouldn’t wish that pain on my worst enemy. They hurt so bad I couldn’t sleep or lay down comfortably. (Mastitis)My chest looked and felt like giant rocks. I could have floated from the breast if I tried.

Once again no one informed me of engorgement so we had to do our own research. For 2 days I was in so much pain and I had big nots all over my breast and now knowing what to do even after researching I cried and cried and cried and told my spouse I want to dry out my breast because the pain was just too much. I wanted my baby to have breast milk but I was in too much pain and didn’t know how to extract the milk from my breast. 

Before giving up I decided to call one of my friends that’s a nurse at the hospital I gave birth at. She came over and told/showed us what we needed to do to extract the milk and boy was it painful. (Insert video on how to extract milk from engorge breast). She was my hero that day because I felt like I was giving up on my daughter if I had dried out my milk. I had to pump every 2-3 hours every day and no matter how tiring it got it was all worth it because I was producing milk for my baby and she didn’t have to drink Enfamil. My nipples were finally beginning to heal up and I was starting to feel more like my self. For the first month we went some days where she had to drink Enfamil because I wasn’t producing as much as she was eating. I wasn’t getting enough sleep and I was stressing because I wasn't producing enough for her. I had to stop stressing and sleep when she slept and drink plenty of water for my body to produce more which it did. 

During month 2 she had nothing but breast milk and that was a happy month for us all. She even started drinking from the breast and I was very excited about that because after everything that had happen from delivery day we finally got a win. Till this day to sucks from the breast and I still pump because I’m producing more.  We plan to breast feed till age 1-2 years old but at 6 months start trying baby food. 

She’s is 2 months as of writing this and we take it day by day and learn as we go.  Being her mom was the best gift I would have ever asked for. She has changed me in so many ways and I just enjoy every moment with her. 

Life as a parent is hard and things may never go as planned but be thankful because some have it worst. Live in the moment because they won’t last long. Time flies by so fast when you have a newborn so much sure to capture every moment.  

I really hope you enjoyed this and that it has helped you in anyway. Please if you have any questions or need anything please don’t hesitate to ask we mother’s must always be open to lend a helping hand. 

Love you!

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April 24, 2023 — Helen Ayim